Exerpt from Ken Wilbur's A BRIEF HISTORY OF EVERYTHING; and the FiKi imperative in the modern world

“Evolutionary psychology makes it pretty clear why we have these instincts. They help us to survive. Or, they used to anyway. The only problem is that, living in the society of today, we don’t need FIKI (Fuck it Kill it = the two main imperatives of testosterone) to survive anymore.

“Unfortunately, it seems that evolution has hardwired us men this way. FIKI explains why murders and rapes are committed disproportionately by men, and not by women. Until our software catches up to our hardware, the FIKI impulses will continue to cause problems.”
—Ken Wilbur in his A Brief History of Everything

The silent denial about this issue by most males (and females) of the species is deafening. As Ken Wilbur implies, FiKi probably was useful when guys met in a forest somewhere and threw stones or spears at each other but now the toys of war have made testosterone too dangerous to be trusted, and a Safeway on nearly every corner has made hunting-to-live mostly arcane.

Wish I had said it as clearly as Ken. But I think the premise and science have more Uuumph, coming from a thoughtful accredited guy, for the people who most need to hear it.

The thing Ken isn’t discussing here in detail is: when testosterone floods the male brain, it short circuits the synapses in the “safeguard” segment of the brain where rational thoughts are evaluated and where violence as a choice is reconsidered. I am not making this up. Neuroscience articles in Scientific American discuss the studies on the issue.

Submerged in testosterone, the “logic” of violence takes over and we get what we’ve got.

Ken takes the stance that men need to acknowledge this problem; and need to learn to notice this problem in themselves; and need to take responsibly for being actively careful in their choices when this situation arises. That is what he means by a software that can deal with the (testosterone geared) hardware.

In a blog exchange recently on the issue of violence directed toward women and this planet, a fellow sought to flatter me by stating that he has always believed that “Women civilize men”, which appalled me. Because implicit in there somewhere is the subtext that if a man or men behave “uncivilized” then it must be some woman’s fault. And there we have the good ol’ “Look what you made me do!” mind-twist.

Two of my favorite quotes from men:

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend”—Robertson Davies

“Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.”—Frank Herbert.

For me there is something of wit, humor and wisdom in these ideas presented by guys here; obviously the thoughts emerged from a brain not riddled by testosterone in that moment.

Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman

I put this poem here because every woman should read it every day.


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man, The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.

I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care, '
Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Paradise? according to whom

This is not a "feel good about 'whatever' " blog. I plan to say all those things that are not supposed to be said.

Since this is the beginning of my blogship, I will start at a beginning that I hope I can help end.



One of the oldest traditions practiced by the males of the human species is the "look what you made me do!" assertion. This is of course an example of "the best defense is a strong offense", especially in their dealings with women.

You see if one can get the injured party to take responsibility by answering that accustaion or buying into it, no other aspect of the issue will ever get addressed.



This tactical phrase which is stated in many disquises has a long history of success beginning with the supposed beginning of it all. The tactic is so pervasive and popular and automatically emerges from a boy/man mouth, I spent time pondering on it.



I guess I could give some specific examples of the practice: The still inplace assertion that "she asked for it" as a defense when a man is charged with rape is the most egregious form and probably the most prevalent. The "I lied cuz she would have gotten angry if I told the truth." which reaction of course is probably true and correct but to avoid consequences for unacceptable behaviors men use the excuse for lying all the time. In other words, she made me lie because she is a bitch.

Oh and by the way, I want to take this moment to mention that the current prevalent use of 'bitch' is proof that misogyny is still the most acceptable of bigotries. "Bitch" afterall is the sexist equivalent of "nigger", isn't it. The N-word was just as acceptable and prevalent 100 years ago when racism was as active and ok as sexism still is. More about that another time.

So where did the "look what you made me do" dynamic start? Well, as I said before, it started "In the beginning...", that is, in the book of Genesis. The first book of the bible lays the ground work for all of it.

The allegory goes like this: Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit of the apple tree. Even though a snake played some symbolic role in the events, it was Eve's fault because she seduced Adam into eating the fruit. Remember this is all in allegory speak.

Now what exactly is this all about?

I think we need to talk a bit about the story of Lilith, Adam's first wife. This story was omitted from the bible. As you will see, it doesn't fit with the program; this story of course is only one of many that didn't survive the editors' cuts. (think Dead Sea scrolls.)

When God created Adam, he was lonely, so God created Lilith from the same dust from which Adam was molded. But they quarrelled; Adam wished to rule over Lilith. But Lilith was also proud and willful, claiming equality with Adam because she was created from the same dust. She left Adam and fled the Garden; remember the Garden was/is the male definition of Paradise. Now Lilith's exit sounds about right to me... the first couple were also the first divorce and for the same reason that marriage still doesn't work... marriage was never meant to be a joining of equals or a democracy. The disquises to the contrary are phenomenally successful, for a while anyway but 6 our of 10 women now figure it out and with improved economic balance for women, they can actually leave. Expect that % of divorce to keep growing btw.

So, anyway Lilith didn't work out... so equality wasn't workable. So God created Eve to be Adam's mate [created from Adam's rib, so that she couldn't claim equality]. The perfect fit. Except for one thing.

Back to the allegory... when Adam decided to claim his marriage rights and she wasn't in the mood. Adam raped Eve and then in his afterglow noted how much his limp penis looked like a serpent and then noted how furious Eve was. In that moment, Adam found the first "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" It was Eve's fault... had to be... Adam didn't want to take the responsibility. Sound familiar?

It is only in the past few decades that rape in marriage, that is, intercourse forced on the woman, is recognized as a crime. In some states it is still legal for a husband to do this to his wife.

Yep! think about it. Just take a breath and think about it. Rape for so many men is a primary mode/fantasy even now. Long ago men turned the tables on women and inverted the reality, and invented the claim: Women really want to be raped and "no" means "yes". They intice men to rape them; it's the woman's fault. It was Eve's fault, remember.

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! is still used successfully in some courtrooms to defend a rapist.